i miss you, but i don't.

I don’t want to see you or feel you. I don’t want to look into your eyes. I don’t want to touch you or miss you. I just want to love your memory tonight. I can’t handle all this pain. Why we even tried I haven’t a clue. With hearts involved there’s way too much to lose. I just want to love your memory tonight.

When I first laid eyes on you, you looked at me, and the stars lined up. So I thought I’d heard from God, and I gave it my best shot. Loving you was like throwing a lasso around a tornado. I tried to hold on to you. Took a ride on a tilt-a-whirl that sits on top of the world. Man, I thought I could show you. I’ve always been afraid of flying, but you can’t blame a girl for trying. 

thoughts from today..

i wish this world was full of chocolate and lollipops, puppies and kittens, happiness and charm, kisses and hugs, friendships and loves, families that care, kind people, helping hands, sunshine and springtime! no sadness or sickness, fighting or hurting, selfishness or heartache. but when i think about it, i realize i have an even better place i'm headed to after i leave this world...HEAVEN:)