what are you doing here?

why are you always around? i cannot seem to escape your spirit. you snap onto my head throughout my day. it could be when i wake up, when i'm in the shower, when i'm driving, or when i'm trying to fall asleep. i try to keep away, but it feels as if you were following me. i'm aware it is my fault. i'm letting you drag my heart around just like always. the worst feeling is when a friend let's me down or hurts my feelings, and all of these bad memories begin to hover over me and direct my mind. i cannot help it. i'm afraid to pursue my happiness. i feel that some event will bring about despair. if it's not him, then it will be about you. i would be trying to let two people carry my heart around and that is preposterous. will this ever disappear? it couldn't possibly go on forever. maybe someone new could make this go away. that would be amazing, but i doubt my story will end this way. firstly, i have to get my heart back and embrace it tightly. it does belong to me and i need remind myself of that frequently. oh, the things that can run through a girls mind in an hour...i just pray that i can forget about it long enough to count some sheep and get some sleep.

5 things we should all strive to do in life:

1. Keep a journal/diary.
It sounds like a very monotonous habit at first, but when you get into it, that little book will become a great way to organize your thoughts and track your growth over the years. Most of us already stay awake in bed at night pondering the events of the day anyways so why not document those thoughts in an organized fashion? That will allow you to look back and observe how your way of thinking has changed over time.2. Drink water.Hydration is tremendously important for overall health. Soda has absolutely ZERO nutritional content; it’s like pouring a bunch of sugar and syrup into your cup. Instead, fill it with life-replenishing water. It may taste plain at first if you’re coming off of a heavy soda-drinking streak, but you’ll soon find yourself addicted to it. 3. Be mysterious.Don’t let off everything about you and definitely leave out some major details. There is something both alluring and mesmerizing about someone that no one knows fully about. I’m not saying to confide in no one or to alienate yourself. Just think James Bond.4. Do what you love.There is a huge difference between making a life and making a living; which one are you making right now? So many spend their entire lives trying to make as much money as possible so that they can afford to do what they really want later. It makes no sense to settle in life until you’re 65 so that you can retire and do what you want when you’re already WAY past your prime. We only live life once so why wouldn’t you want to spend it pursuing your bliss? To do anything else would be a tragic waste of the freedom you are allowed if you are reading this right now. Follow your bliss and you will be a thousand times more happy than your retirement date and 40+ years younger.5. Choose your friends wisely.You are affected far more than you think by the people you spend your time with. Do your friends share your values? Do they encourage you when you speak of your goals and dreams? Make sure the people around you are conducive to the lifestyle you want to lead or you will find yourself being dragged again and again into behavior that distances you from your desires. Friends with a habit of producing negative thoughts will especially hinder you. Don’t let anyone get in the way of you being all that you can be.